A Competitive Spirit, Reborn and Alive Once Again.

            I was on my final Crossfit workout. A brutal 12 minutes of as many reps as possible of 5 tire flips, 10 wall ball shots and a 150 m sprint and to top it off, it was the last of 3 work outs. Each horrendous workout had only a 3 minute break between and going into my final one, I had nothing left to give… or so I thought. I had never pushed so hard in my life and it took everything out of me to simply keep going. There was one girl in my heat and thankfully she was rx-ing and she was pushing me onward. I had managed to stay ahead of her in the first two work outs. It was only entering the final event that she had slipped ahead of me.

I was bent over the 100+ lb tire that I was supposed to be flipping over. Instead I stood, staring dejectedly down at the pavement in the middle, trying to catch my breath, trying to convince myself to bend down and lift the object. I looked hopeless as I remained motionless above my tire. Time was passing but not quickly enough. It was the longest 12 minutes of my life. Suddenly I heard a man in the crowd, I didn’t recognize the voice, yet the words were the most motivational I had ever heard said out loud. He screamed over the drone of voices:

“Don’t stop! This is what you live for! This is why you get up in the morning everyday! This is what you thrive on day in and day out!”

He wasn’t yelling at me but he may as well have been. The words hit me like a rock, awakening something that I had forgotten deep inside my soul. Where had that empowerment gone? It was the same enlightening feeling I had felt as a gymnast. Since leaving the sport, I had felt an undeniable void in my life. It had left me feeling miserable and empty. Gymnastics was my “God”, my religion and my first true love. Yet in an attempt to return to the sport, I found to my complete dismay, the joy and passion that had driven me to continue had long since left. I no longer belonged in that arena anymore. It had become a part of my past. As quickly as I had jumped back in, I quietly stepped back out and returned to the monotony of my life.

And yet standing over that tire, there was suddenly a familiar feeling in my heart. It’s hard to put into words exactly what I was experiencing internally. A flame that had been burnt out years before seemed to come back to life, only this time, it was in a different place, time and moment. A determination, a passion and a desire I hadn’t felt for a long time and never like this, never so strongly. It was a feeling of needing to survive, to rise above and to thrive in this new world I had entered.

I glanced up at the girl who was just ahead of me. I took a deep breath, gritted my teeth, narrowed my eyes and bent down to pull the tire up from the ground.  A sort of power that came from deep inside me pushed me onward. I no longer felt human; overcoming a fatigue unlike anything I had ever experienced had brought out something divine in me. My drive for competition, for sport and most of all, for life, had returned. I had been re-born in that moment.

7 days without crossfit makes one week...

Lately I've been feeling burnt out, frusterated, tired and completely in need of a vacation. I haven't gotten out of this town much since I got certified in Crossfit, 6 months ago...
Seriously need a break.
A couple of items I really need to talk about, three things imparticular: My crossfit blurbage, moving or not moving and the Nastia issue.

Plus the idea of coming out of retirement in gymnastics has been put on hold. Mostly because I can't train due to the fact that the gym I once called home wont even let me onto the floor. Why? Insurance policies, fear, communication issues between coaches and for a lack of feeling welcome, I don't care much to enter in to their training facility. The other reason being some overuse injuries I've developed all over my lower body. This is severely frusterating in itself. My calves, achilles and bottoms of my feet imparticular feel swollen and tight all of the time.

Stress has likely been part of my inability to lose weight. I had started eating healthier than ever since the crossfit regionals but nothing seemed to come from it except severe fatigue, naturally this occured from "paleo" foods that my body is allergic to. Since then I have been cheating more often too. It's been very frusterating and hard to keep my goal in mind. It just feels like I am going through the motions nowdays. No desire. No joy. Just teaching classes and working out. Everything feels purposeless. I need some motivation... something to inspire me again.






The last discussion topic I want to confront is why the fuck Nastia is able to go to trials with those 2 nightmarish bar routines when Chellsie, who was obviously more prepared was not allowed to move forward. That frusterates me a lot. Partially because I am not much of a Nastia fan...

I managed to get out of town for about 3 hours and visited a friend who started a new gym. A new gym I may start coaching/training at. As a soveigner, she decided to take a picture of me in front of the banner. I love the pic!... >>>

At any rate, its late, I'm hurting, tired & frusterated. I'm going to bed. 

Easter Running + Other Tidbits

Easter...Easter, Easter, Easter...

I have to be honest, I don't like holiday's much.
My holiday is my work time, my work outs.
When I don't get to go to work, I feel lazy and become easily bored...
I also indulged in too much sugar and too many carbs, which also makes me feel miserable...
To add to all of this nonsense, the YMCA I train at is now closed on Sunday's until October! That was the last straw in adding misery to my weekend...

Fortuantly, the weather was lovely late in the afternoon and so I headed out on a 5 mile run Saturday. As I began, I did so in rememberence of Caballo Blanco.


It was amazing how motivating remembering him was. I ran with ease. The sky seemed to become a lighter blue and the grass was a lively green beneath my feet. The wind lightly touched my face. And the sun beamed down on me lightly, just warming me to a comfortable degree. It was an enlightening experience to say the least and I enjoyed every moment of it. It's amazing how much stronger I have gotten as well... Although I'm sure my pace was slow, when I'm by myself I go at what I feel is comfortable. If that means 10 minutes per mile, that is fine by me. Whatever I can do to get myself to run for a longer period of time. However, I have never ran very far. At this point in time, I have never gone beyond 6 miles in a time frame. Thus feeling that 5 miles felt easy was a great confidence booster in preping me for my 1/2 marathon in June. Likewise, I have to make sure a longer run feels good. If running doesn't feel good, even for one day, it takes a whole lot of effort and usually time-in days-to get myself back outside or in any form of "running mode".


Even though I got in a longer run, my dietary intake that take left consequences going into Sunday.


Eating more carbs and sugar usually makes me get jittery, emotional, leaves me feeling unsatisfied and I've come to find causes me to want to work out really, really hard-even on rest days.


Sunday looked absolutely miserable in the morning. Windy, cloudy and cold. This was a huge downer for me. I was not going to run in the wind, not when it was windy enough to knock down tree branches. My Easter day began miserably...


I took my gloomy self to a friend's house and helped her cook for her family. She then introduced me to the sport of Lacrosse. Well the jist of it, basically throwing the ball back and forth using the sticks in the game. It was a joyful way to release some of the stress from the weekend. Finally the weather had cleared up and I took advantage of it, going for another run. This time a shorter trip, around 3 miles I'd say.



I went along the canal bank near my house. It is the most gorgeous, secluded area and I absolutely loved running it. However, I started with an added loop toward a different canal bank and figured I'd cut through and end my run early, I instead stuck it out to go on the canal bank that no one ever touches. It was well worth the extra mileage. :)

That evening ended in an Easter feast of deviled eggs, salad, fruit and twiced baked potatoes. As amazing as the food was, I had already eaten so terribly that it made me feel miserable afterward. I did enjoy the opportunity that was provided by my old coach to go into the gym and play gymnastics, it was a nice relief and another stress reliever.

I began today differently. Eating almost strictly paleo. My breakfast included an apple, 2 eggs, chicken, mushrooms, onions, avocado and salsa.

Taught a spin class. Thank God for exercise and sweating, I felt much better afterward.

Lunch included 2 more eggs, side pork, green beans, avocado, onion, mushrooms & salsa. So similar meal.

Another reason I absolutely love eating paleo is side pork, bacon and chicken! After being vegetarian for almost 2 years, going back to meat has been a wonderful treat.

Onto spin class #2 and crossfit.

I'm gonna leave you with some running tips from Scott Jurek.

...Caballo Blanco...Let us not forget...

Caballo Blanco will never be forgotten...
Footage taken in Olympia, Washington by weiistone. No copyright infringement intended.

It's incredible to think that I sat in the back of this room only a couple of years ago and listened to this great human being talk about his lifestyle and the lifestyle of the tribe he lived amongst.

On March 31st, 2012 the infamous Caballo Blanco from Christopher Mcdougall's award winning novel, Born to Run was found dead on the terrain of New Mexico.

I think what's so startling about the discovery of 58 year old Micah True's dead body is that he is depicted as a sort of super hero in Born to Run. He's portrayed as a mysterious, ghostly figure who has managed to live amongst a hidden, fairly unknown tribe. He had overcome the way Americans have come to live by and instead found a deeper, solitary and ancestral type life that the Tarahumara live. This tribe of people had come to respect, not only, this man's uncanny ability to live among them but also his ability remain an elusive ghost to the public eye. That is until recently...

Christopher Mcdougall writes about his adventures of traveling down to the Copper Canyon's of Mexico, seeking out this man called Caballo Blanco. Upon finding him, Christopher's whole life changed, for the better. Micah True set an example as to how human being's are meant to live and showed that we can live like the Tarahumara tribe in their simplicity and their down-to-earth ways.

As you step outside for you're next run, take a moment to breath in the fresh air, feel the earth beneath your feet and just for a moment, remember Caballo Blanco's spirit.

For more information check out:
http://www.caballoblanco.com/

Barefoot Ted's Facebook Page

Or an interview taken with Scott Jurek:
http://www.runnersworld.com/cda/microsite/article/0,8029,s6-238-511--14280-0,00.html

Over Training...

I am one to admit that I am prone to overtraining. I believe it has to do with the fact that I was restricted in my gymnastics training by a particular coach who didn't care to be in the gym enough to help me reach my potential. Now that I can go to the gym whenever I want, I tend to spend numerous hours in my own training as well as training others-which usually includes me joining in on the work outs.

Lately I've been having trouble getting to sleep. I seem to feel anxious, restless yet simultaneously exhausted. Likewise, I also noticed yesterday that my heartrate seemed to be going too fast while sitting in my car. This bothered me and also caused more anxiety, making me feel sick and tired.

It was my third super hard day in the gym as well as my third day of eating super natural. However, I let myself go a little easy on eating which made me feel guilty and caused me to go through the anxiety issue-again.

Crossfit wears me out more than any other exercise program I do and after the squats and running, my legs felt pretty shot going into my spin class. Even so, I pumped myself up and gave everyone an intense workout. Luckily, in teaching crossfit, I don't have to perform the work out, yet constantly yelling encouragement seems to have a slightly similar effect. At any rate, raising my heartrate to an unnatural state. I didn't have coffee but I had some spark, but I don't think it was the caffeine. I left the gym at about 7:30pm, skipping my last 2 miles of running I had planned to get in. I was severely hungry and scarfed down my paleo meal of veggies, hummus, tuna and an egg. I felt increasingly unsatisfied and went to bed feeling deprived, anxious, tired and was unable to get to sleep.

I awoke this morning completely exhausted as I had been when I went to bed and likewise I found that I had some pain in my calf. Fortuantly, I had skipped out on my extra running miles yesterday. However, I knew I had still pushed myself a little harder than I should've. Thus I have decided to make today a rather easy day.

12:20-1pm Abs with Kayla-led by Danni (It's gonna hurt...Lol)
Extra: work out with Kayla
Body Mapping at 2:15pm - Recovery
Hang with Dani (Never got around to it earlier in the week)
Work on fitness plan program with Brooke
6:45pm-Teach Crossfit

Friday is going to be a hard day so trying to cut back as much as possible today.
Over Training According to Wikipedia:

Overtraining may be accompanied by one or more concomitant symptoms:
Persistent muscle soreness
Persistent fatigue
Elevated resting heart rate
Reduced heart rate variability
Increased susceptibility to infections
Increased incidence of injuries
Irritability
Depression
Mental breakdown

Loving Life

Eating Paleo is HARD.

Day 3, I gave into some homemade enchiladas.
However, I've noticed a difference within just the last couple of days. I have been upping my work outs, working out harder than I usually can do in a 3 day period, sleeping less and yet feeling better overall.--Interestingly enough...

Speaking of food and eating, more and more food videos keep coming up. Today, one on the crossfit site came up that totally hits the bottom line. Nutrition is everything.


Already did one work out today.
Crossfit:
50 Back Squats (55lbs)
2 mile run
50 Back Squats

21. 52min.

Pretty good considering I am not a fan of running. Even so, I need to keep working on running. Thus the goal of my first half marathon in 11 weeks.

2 more miles today. Plus 45 min. spin class. Plus teaching crossfit.
Long day but I love it! This is how I want to live my life forever. :)

3/27/2012

Here's what my day looks like Tues. March 27th, 2012.

Gotta love the awesome white(green)board I just went and bought too! Bought a couple, one for my own personal use and one to use for the new fitness program I will be starting.

Seeing that I am going to start teaching a new fitness program in a week, I am rushing to come up with routines, music, equiptment and skills I am going to be using in this program.

Fortuanantly, the internet has lots of useful information to help me get started. :)
www.myomytv.com/start-here-best-beginners-home-workout-routines-ten-minutes-a-day/

As always my struggle for food has been what is the downfall in my maximum fitness potential...
Needless to say, I gave into my coffee addiction this morning. :( One day at a time though, I will get stronger, better and I am still working on eating as paleo as possible. Food is my ultimate drug. In fact, I would go as far as to say that it's my coffee drink. I can go everyday eating almost exclusively paleo except for the coffee. Without it, I get agitated.

Yesterday was a really insanely hard work out day. Despite the amount of working out I did, I am not at all sore. The only thing I really noticed was I was unable to sleep very well. Dreams of my past as a gymnast haunted me and I awoke late, at 10am. Even now, a few minutes from 1pm, I am still exhausted.

Even so, I g2g get my work outs in.
First one will be taking my just recently prego sister for a run/walk. First time exercising much for her so I am excited to get her out of the house.
Then got to get my own run in, to prepare myself for the 1/2 marathon I'm training for in June. It's going to be happening 2 days after my 21st birthday...So we'll see how that goes, needless to say, I plan to have a mostly sober birthday and intend to run the 1/2 marathon as a sort of gift to myself. :)
Going to try to go to crossfit at 4pm. We'll see if that happens.
Lastly, gonna do tabata tonight.
=)